Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to accurately recognize, understand, and manage their emotions and the emotions of other people. Also known as the “emotional quotient” (EQ), emotional intelligence is a vital requirement for good relationships, personal growth, success on the job, and satisfaction in life.

The concept of emotional intelligence is rooted in the idea that people who are aware of how their emotions and habitual emotional responses affect their thoughts and behaviors tend to be more successful, have less stress, and have better relationships than people who are less able to understand and manage emotions. 

The Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence 

Experts believe that emotional intelligence is composed of traits that include: 

1. Emotional self-awareness. A person who’s aware of their own emotions is able to accurately identify the context of those emotions; that is, they understand what prompts them to feel particular emotions. Emotionally self-aware people also understand how their feelings affect their thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs. 
2. Emotional self-regulation. A person with a high EQ manages their impulses and refrains from allowing their emotions to seize control of their behaviors. People with good emotional self-regulation are able to manage the impact their emotions have on their lives.
3. Empathy and relationship management. Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to what another person is feeling. A person with high empathy doesn’t need to have had the same experience as another person, because they relate to the emotions the other person is feeling. Being able to recognize, identify and empathize with the emotional state of other people is a necessary tool in managing relationships with others. A high EQ also helps a person to build and maintain good relationships, establish healthy boundaries, manage their expectations of others, and manage conflict effectively.
4. Self-motivation. People with a high EQ understand what they value and are motivated by what’s internally satisfying to them. Self-motivation tends to be more powerful, longer-lasting, and more enduring than extrinsic motivators, like money. 
5. Social skills. Emotional intelligence is a key component of good social skills that allow a person to understand the emotional contexts of others and get along with other people. A person with high emotional intelligence understands the feelings of those around them and can accurately assess their concerns and needs. People with high emotional intelligence are also good at picking up on non-verbal cues and reading body language.

The Impact of Emotional Intelligence 

All areas of life are improved when a person has a high EQ. It’s highly correlated with measures of happiness in professional and personal life. Adolescents who score high on assessments of emotional intelligence also report higher levels of satisfaction in life.  

A high EQ contributes to: 

• Improved physical health. Managing emotions in a healthy way keeps stress under control. Reducing stress levels leads to better blood pressure, improved resistance to illness, and a lower risk of heart disease or stroke. 
• Better mental health. Out-of-control emotions contribute to anxiety and depression. People who feel like they’re the servants—or even victims--of their emotions also report greater levels of loneliness and isolation, which in turn makes stress worse and aggravates other psychological conditions. 
• Better relationships. One of the biggest pluses of good emotional intelligence is better communication with other people, which is valuable at home and in the work or school setting. By being aware of the situations that are aggravating negative emotions, a person with high EQ can acknowledge the validity of the other person’s feelings while also working toward resolving the troubling situations. 
• Improved work and school performance. Emotional intelligence allows us to get along better with others, but it also helps us lower our anxiety about our performance on assignments. Anxiety about grades is paradoxically a major contributor to poor performance. Performance anxiety also strikes many of us at work when we’re assigned to a big project. The act of acknowledging our fear and trepidation is by itself able to reduce some of our stress. 
• Managing expectations. One of the biggest benefits of a high EQ is managing expectations. Everyone has expectations of how things should be, how other people should act, and how our lives should unfold. As is often the case, things do not go according to our plans, which leads to disappointment and frustration. These emotions may fuel discontent, even anger. Learning how to manage one’s expectations and frame them realistically removes one of the biggest sources of misery in personal and professional life.  

Improving emotional intelligence 

The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned and developed. As well as working on your skills in the five areas above, use these strategies: 

• Evaluate your typical reactions to situations and other people. Do you try to understand their viewpoint? How often do the actions and reactions of others seem strange or unexpected to you? An honest self-evaluation gives you a great place to start making changes. 
• Consider how often you feel resentment. Resentment is one of the biggest contributors to misery in the workplace and in personal relationships. 
• Observe how others react to you. Do they seem hesitant to interact with you, or are people comfortable in their interactions with you? 
• During a stressful situation, do you add fuel to the fire by becoming angry, upset, or impatient? Do you shout at others or throw things? If so, learn to take a 3-second pause between feeling a negative emotion and reacting. Put that pause in to give your emotions time to peak and fade. 
• Always own your actions and make amends as soon as you can. 

If you’re having trouble managing your emotions, a professional therapist can help. You don’t have to have a mental disorder to see a therapist. Many people use the services of counselors to learn better ways to manage their emotions. 

Works Cited 

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